What exactly is that annoying behavior? And where does it come from if your child is annoying or if you think your child is exhibiting annoying behavior? Your child really doesn’t do that to bully you… So it comes from somewhere, but how do you find out?
Every child is sometimes ‘annoying’. What annoying means is just what you yourself understand by annoying behavior. For some it is ‘not listening’, for others it is shouting all together and ignoring you completely. What does this unwanted behavior actually mean in your child?
If your child is annoying …
Do you experience unpleasant behavior in your child? For example, that he does not listen to you or even ignore you completely. Or that he hurts his brother or sister on purpose, takes away toys or yells or screams at you? Then take a look at what he shares with you non-verbally. Annoying behavior can mean , for example , that your child is bored of himself and thus ‘bored’ you or others. Or does he need your attention?
This can all manifest itself in asking for negative attention, because your child is really not doing this to bully you. Instead of punishing this behavior, you can acknowledge it. Take him with you and ask if he might be bored or in need of some time with you. Then you can come up with a solution together without anyone having to get angry.
Tired of school
It may also be that your child went to school and then to daycare and it went well, he was cheerful and played well. Until you come to pick it up. He gives you a hug, but after that all he can do is whine and annoy you. Nothing you say or do is right and you come home with an upset or angry child …
There is also an underlying cause for this: your child is probably tired from the long day and the many impressions. In addition, he has had to listen all day to what others told him and he can let himself go with you. That is why this annoying behavior starts exactly when you come into the picture: that transition is the stimulus for him that he no longer has to show the desired behavior, because you are there for him anyway.
This behavior is completely normal. You can make this transition a bit more pleasant for both of you by, for example, bringing a cookie or apple with you on the road and staying calm with him. Do not immediately bombard him with all kinds of questions, but ask what he needs at that moment. Maybe that’s just being with you in silence and that’s fine.
Annoying behavior or discovering?
Children learn from everything they encounter throughout their education. Don’t see playing with food, cords, the kitchen drawer and climbing on chairs or the windowsill as something negative, but remember that your child is discovering and thus learning. Sometimes you can let them go in there, of course if the situation doesn’t get dangerous, and in other cases you can react calmly.
Respond by taking the food away, taking your child away from the cords, and not putting items in the kitchen drawer that your child shouldn’t play with. Also briefly explain why you don’t want something. Sometimes over and over again. Does your older child usually come down late for dinner?
Then don’t get angry, don’t punish him, let him experience the consequences himself: too late for dinner means that the food on your plate has become cold or even that you are eating alone at the table because you are all ready. In this way he discovers your limits and learns to be responsible for his own actions.